Green

I used to cry watching movies when I was younger. I cried watching a story about a green dinosaur. I cried watching a story about a green dragon. I have grown older, and since then I have found it hard to cry at much of anything. In recent times, I have found myself cringing at the violence on screen, being startled during horrors, and sometimes, every now and again, my breath catches itself in my throat during emotional beats.

Last week I cried watching a movie. And then a bit after it.

I do not know why. The scene was not sad, nor was it especially heartwarming. I do not know why I fought it either. Why I paused the show and tried to breathe through it. Why I held my sides as though that could keep things in. Why I covered my face under my sheets. Why I tried to let the tears flow but keep my voice quiet.