Every Bit As Much

I really do not know why. There is no real reason why we have not spoken. I could not have spoken at that time, and I was not up to it the following day. But if it makes things a bit better for you, know that for the last month I have thought—and I mean truly thought—of speaking with you. But the days went by, and as each passed, speaking grew harder. And then I thought I would be able to speak with you once I had accomplished something, once something in my life had changed that would warrant speaking, but today feels every bit as much as last month.