As Little As Possible

I did not expect to live to this point. Ideally, I envisioned being gone by last year. And for whatever reason, be it luck or my lack of resolve, that did not happen. I guess I should be grateful. I should find some sort of value in this. On some level, I am living on borrowed time and should do all I can with it—make good on my loan. Instead, I find these pockets and nooks to hide within. Making the absolute least of each day. Terrified that making something of it may remind those who have lent me this time that I am still here.